Sunday, January 4, 2015

Escaping the Downer Bubble


Updates! Well, there arent many. The year before last my hema told me I would just see her when I would need to. This was because appointment after appointment would yield the same result, levels from 90-110K (mostly 90's). This is great, but no remission. As I write this I have a couple tiny "fingerprint bruises", as I call them, on my arms and legs.  Still-  I'm happy to have been stable in the same range for almost 2 years. 2015 will be year FIVE of living with this illness, and so far I haven't let it alter my plans the way it used to. I think like anything life-changing event, you adapt.

I used to avoid making big plans altogether. I'd get all Debbie Downer on everyone and say things like "well you never know what can happen" or "whats the point I have bad luck" (I used this one alot).  Cut to 5 years on and you haven't done much because of fear. SO, I've recognized the patterns that my "Sick Person Mentality" has been a challenge for me. Just because this happened and changed alot, doesnt mean I should treat my future like it's Jake Gyllenhaal in Bubble Boy. Thus 2015 will be about believing in plans again! We'll see how I do.

 Trying not to treat my life this way

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